Sunday, March 11, 2012

Mother of Three Boys Rant

Listen in on part of a random phone conversation I had this past week:
Lady:  "Congratulations!  I heard you had a baby."
Me:  "Yep, I sure did.  Thank you."
Lady:  "Did you have a boy or a girl?"
Me:  "I had a boy.  He's a little over a month old now."
Lady:  "Oh, wonderful.  Is that what you wanted?  A boy?"
Me:  (thinking of a million sarcastic responses, like, "No, I really wanted a girl, but I guess I'm stuck with this kid." or "No, boys are awful.  I think I'll put him up for adoption.")  Instead, I nicely say, "Yes, I'm glad to have him."
Lady:  "Is this your first?"
Me:  "No, he's our third."
Lady:  "Oh, really?  What else do you have?  Not two more boys, I hope."
Me:  (thinking, "Are you for real?  Yes, because having three boys would just be the worst punishment God could ever throw upon me, right?  Surely, if I had three boys, it must mean that I've done something terribly wrong!")  Instead, I say, "Yes, I have three boys.  They keep me busy, but they're lots of fun."
Lady:  "Oh.  So are you going to try for a girl next?"
Me:  (*sigh* "Which answer should I use this time?  I'll try a light-hearted one.")  "No, that would be a pretty big gamble." (hardy har har har)

The remaining 30 seconds of the conversation was awkward jibber-jabber.  She sure put herself in a precarious position after learning I was the mother to three boys.  Although this was the most awkward conversation I've had so far (I'm so glad it was on the phone so she couldn't see my face), when most people learn I've just given birth to a third male, they look at me with sympathy and almost apologize while asking, "Are you going to try for a girl now?"  I realize it's just an automatic question, but it is such an outlandish idea to me.  I can't imagine ever getting pregnant with the intention of giving birth to a certain sex.  It just wouldn't be fair to the child or to myself.  Obviously, the odds are 50/50, and no wishful thinking is going to change that.  If we do decide to add to our family again, it will be for the joy of raising another child together, regardless of what private parts it has.  I know there are people who do "try for" one sex or the other, but I guess I just don't get it.  I love being a mom to three boys.  I don't feel that there's a gaping hole in my life that only a daughter could fill.  If there was, I would give it up to God and not try to take things into my own hands by repeatedly bearing children until one of them pops out a girl, because guess what?  He ultimately decides what it's going to be anyways.

So, what we're going to do is just enjoy these wonderful children (yes, even if they're all boys) that God has given us as gifts, not penalties.  We're going to love them and raise them the best that we can so they can grow up to be strong men, which we know this world is lacking.  Then, if somewhere down the road, we are blessed with another addition, we'll love it the same as we do these boys, no matter what it turns out to be.

I guess you know what question not to ask me now, right?  :)


  1. Gee I have no idea what you are talking about ;) ;)
    'Cept of course I do have the girls... I find myself doing a lot of smiling and nodding when people ask me rather ridiculous questions... my personal favorite or least favorite doesn't even have to do with the sex of my kids. It's "How are you". I know its innocent enough but takes me for a spin so often and often holds me up in my thoughts as to the next steps I was going to take like go into church or finish my grocery shopping. Lately I have been truly "good" but there are so many times answering that way just doesn't seem right because of how I may be struggling at the time... I have found it takes time to really have a sit down and so I have found in those instances myself saying "ok" or just smiling and walking away saying nothing.

    I love my children and even though I grew up with boys and expected I would have boys, I love being the mother of girls. Like you I am blessed with the "children" God has so easily given me. If anything I should be more appreciative of the blessing in having children at all and in addition they are healthy and smart and I have carried them and birthed them well and count it all joy... anyway, I think people just get stuck on certain sayings having them just spool out of their mouth.
    I keep getting here the same comment in the grocery store. "You sure have your hands full!" And that's just 3 little ones...


Whaddaya think of that?